So maybe this schtick isn't so original. But it is awfully bothersome.

So I have a beef with some of the things people say when you're waiting on hold for a person to pick up the phone.
Here are those said beefs in order of annoyance level:

1. "Please listen to the complete list of options, as our menu choices have changed. For consumer products, press one. For business products press two." For that I had to listen to the whole message? What could have possibly changed? Perhaps consumer products used to be two?


2. "Stay on the line. You may experience some silence." In our time, it really is rare to experience silence. However, what I heard was a bunch of bad smooth jazz and some lame expressions of how important my call was. (see item 4)


3. "Hey, I'd like to give you a few phone numbers to keep handy. The support line for Roadrunner service is..." That's the number I had called to get that message.


4. "Your call is very important to us." So important that you can't get to me in under 45 minutes? Wow. I feel so... special.