The chiefs have an official rock provider. Isn't that a little strange? I guess perhaps they make the running backs train with rocks in their Under Armor. They stopped letting them say "Official Beer Provider for the NFL." Now they say something completely neutered, like "Official Brewed Beverage Enjoyed During the Games of the NFL."

There's a radio morning show in KC on Mix 93 called Clap Girl and the Bastard. Now that I look at that, I may have the name of the show wrong. Anyway, I heard them say that jewelry for the show was provided by a local jeweler. Jewelry? For a radio show?? "Listen to that tinkling charm bracelet on Clap Girl's wrist. I must go see the selection at Jimmy's Fine Diamond-Teria."

Other options:

• Wardrobe for closed captioning staff provided by Botany 500
• Official Transfat Provider for the U.S. Olympic Swim Team
• Bladder Control Products for Regis Philbin generously provided by Depends in exchange for this promotional announcement