Turns out "Ring Around the Rosie" is not a creepy rhyme about the plague.

Dispatch From the Front

Me: I think you kids like the idea of Pop Tarts more than actually eating them. What do you think of that?

Virginia: I don't even know what you mean.

Graham: Me too.

Frank: Me too.

Henry: Me too

I finally dumped Sprint as my mobile phone provider and I have never been happier. It cost me $200 to leave them, but it was worth it; now I have a new Blackberry phone and service in my basement office. Joy, oh joy.

After a week of letting my second draft rest, I will embark on a month of intensive editing. No more than one month. I could keep tweaking and messing with it, but as my writing professor Whitney Terrell says, "The changes you will make won't make the difference whether or not you get an agent."

My goal is to have it sent out by the time classes start up at UMKC. I only have one class left for my M.A., so the schedule is light.

When I first would describe the premise of my novel, I used to say this:

It's the story of a guy who decides to reinvent his life when he learns his wife is having an affair the same day the Big 6 accounting firm that employs him implodes due to some illegal tax shelters they set up. He decides to follow his dream to become a writer so he moves to Manhattan... Kansas, where his idol teaches writing. There he uses the skills he honed in business to succeed in the political atmosphere of Kansas State.

Universally, this was hated by those who had read the first part of my book. They, rightfully, said it was boring and did not describe any of the odd or funny qualities of the writing.

So lately I've been describing it this way.

Krauthammer 2.0
It's the story of a guy who decides to reinvent his life when he learns his wife is having an affair the same day the Big 6 accounting firm that employs him implodes due to some illegal tax shelters they set up. He moves to Manhattan, Kansas, where he begins to write about some of the odd things he encounters there, like an underground dairy that sells unpasteurized milk and a plot to derail trains carrying baby formula to third world countries.

But the problem here is that people think I have veered from the real plot and am making some kind of a joke.

Here is how I think I will describe it now.

Krauthammer 2.0
This is a comedic novel about Carl Krauthammer, a 38-year-old man who decides to drop everything and move to Manahattan, Kansas. His move uncovers the town's secrets, including an underground dairy that sells unpasteurized milk, a militant wing of La Leche League, and the reason why one of Carl's favorite writers has lost his mojo.

Would this description make you want to read the book? Give me your comments.