Amazon's recommendations

Here's what Amazon recommends for me. Man, you could have a hell of a weekend with those three items in tow.

The Four Stations on Preset in Heaven

1. WFUV, New York
2. KPIG, Santa Cruz
3. WXRT, Chicago
4. KTBG, Kansas City

Have other suggestions?

Does this banner make me look fat?

I was watching a clip from the Daily show when a banner completely obscured the video clip I wanted to watch. It would not go away until I refreshed my page. Why does life have to be SO HARD?


I see now that the advertiser is unfortunate in the context of this video clip.

First Swine Flu Fast Food Special

Naming a Boat?

If you're trying to find the perfect name for your catamaran in the Virgin Islands, allow me to provide a little advice.

DO pick a word that sounds fun. DON'T pick a word that means:

of, relating to, being, resembling, or affected by schizophrenia characterized especially by a marked psychomotor disturbance that may involve stupor or mutism, negativism, rigidity, purposeless excitement, and inappropriate or bizarre posturing.
-Merriam-Webster Dictionary

I provide this advice at no charge.

Playlist from the Highlawn Auction

I was in charge of the music at the auction for Henry and Frank's pre-school. Here's my playlist:

If Only - KT Tunstall
Spirit In the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
Oh Yoko - John Lennon
City Hall - Vienna Teng
Vabeeotchay - Keller Williams
Jackson - Johnny Cash
Leave My Kitten Alone - The Beatles
This Time Tomorrow - The Kinks
Just Dropped In - Kenny Rogers & The First Edition
Rudie Can't Fail - The Clash
Jump Nyabinghi - Bob Marley & the Wailers
Don't You Evah - Spoon
Long Division - Death Cab For Cutie
Spaceship - Sharon Little
What'd I Say (Parts I & II) - Ray Charles
Believe Me Baby - James Hunter
Shake Ya Boogie - Mocean Worker
So Many Nights - The Cat Empire
Good Excuse (Live) - The John Butler Trio
Unholy Train - The Damnations TX
One Of These Days - Teddy Thompson
Clocks - Coldplay & Buena Vista Social Club
Cherry, Cherry - Neil Diamond
Chick-A-Boom - Van Morrison
I Want You Back (Z-Trip Remix) - Jackson 5
In Between Days - Folds
Late Morning Lullaby - Brandi Carlile
Peace - Los Lobos
My Two Feet - Old 97's
My Life Is Totally Boring Without You - Cracker
Luxury Liner - Whiskeytown
Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash & The Tennessee Two
No Sunlight - Death Cab For Cutie
Mrs Potters Lullabye - Counting Crows
Sly - The Cat Empire
Let Her Dance - Los Super Seven
Dance the Night Away - The Mavericks
Hotel California - Gypsy Kings
Tenderness On The Block - Shawn Colvin
Revolution 1 - The Beatles
One - Aimee Mann
Three Is A Magic Number - Blind Melon
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Impossible Germany - Wilco
See That My Grave Is Kept Clean - Los Super Seven
You're Barkin' Up The Wrong Tree - Sue Foley
Ma 'Tit Fille - Buckwheat Zydeco
Always A Friend - Alejandro Escovedo
Real Love - Lucinda Williams
American Gangster - Elvis Costello and the Imposters
Get Rhythm - Johnny Cash
Who's Been Here - Commonwealth Jones
Pride and Joy - Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble
Crazy Dream - Los Lonely Boys
Perfectly Good Guitar - John Hiatt
Pure And Easy - The Who
How Come - Ray LaMontagne
Hold Me Back (Frankie & Johnny) - Michelle Shocked
I Gotta Get Drunk - The Little Willies
Littlest Bird - The Be Good Tanyas
Stray Paper - Tift Merritt
One More Song The Radio Won't Like - Kathleen Edwards
Murray - Pete Yorn
Love Plus One - Haircut 100
Burning In The Sun - Blue Merle
Duck And Cover - Glen Phillips
Driving Sideways - Amiee Mann
Nothing I Can Do - Ben Taylor Band
Trouble - Ray LaMontagne
Louisianna (Live) - The Alternate Routes
Words - Lucinda Williams
Just Like Heaven - Katie Melua
Tell Ol' Bill - Bob Dylan
Different Kind Of Fine - Zac Brown Band
[You'll Be] Satisfied - The Subdudes
Have You Ever - Brandi Carlile
Losing You - John Butler Trio
Girlfriend Is Better - Talking Heads
Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) - US3
1 BR / 1 BA - Vienna Teng
Just Enough - Love Aslyn
Little Things - Los Lobos
Send Your Mind - Van Morrison
Nothing In This World Can Stop Me Worryin' Bout That Girl - The Kinks
Follow That Sound - Sharon Little
Join Together - The Who
I Make The Dough, You Get The Glory - Kathleen Edwards
Old Friend - Lyle Lovett
Whatever You Want - Vienna Teng
Nothin On Me - Shawn Colvin
Hold On - KT Tunstall
Lupita - The Iguanas

Least Popular Facebook Feed Items

The recently-updated facebook interface really keeps me up-to-date with the comings and goings of my friends. Here's a list I've compiled of the least popular updates I've received on my facebook feed:

1 friend has become a fan of Jimmy Dean Pork Breakfast Nubbins.
You've been tagged in Carrot Top's Note: "45 Random Things About Me"
3 Friends have taken the "Which 'Small Wonder' Character am I" test.
You have received 8 pieces of limited edition bad karma.
Your friend Carl found out he was "Trench Mouth" in the "Which Communicable Disease Are You" quiz.
You commented on your own picture. 1:56 AM.

That WAS Elton John: March 5, 2009

After sleeping in and a workout, we headed up poolside for our boring day at sea. Ha! A short rain storm cleared the deck chairs and our friends Rebecca and Lee had snagged a few chairs before the bands had started. Perfect. They let us sit with them and we got to meet their friends from Knoxville. Everyone is so damn funny on this trip and they all have excellent taste in music.

We proceeded to sit by the pool, drink beer, and watch Bonepony, Roddie Romero, and the Greencards by the pool. Part of the package you get on board is getting your picture taken with your “Twice as nice” artist. We got our picture taken with John Hiatt. This was a cattle call if I ever saw one. They whisked us through. I wondered aloud to Polly if John Hiatt gets a copy of his picture with everyone. The woman in front of me said yes, I'm sure he cherishes those pictures. I imagined him flipping through an album of all of these pictures of him with strangers.

We grabbed a bite to eat and the captain came over the PA system. He spoke in his morose Norwegian accent and told us that the waves were too high and that tendering operations required for us to go to Stirrup Cay, NCL's private island, would be too dangerous. So instead we're going to Nassau tomorrow! Woot!

That night’s ticketed event was Shawn Colvin. She does a great job live because her sense of humor comes through during her between-song banter. She was talking about the Poseidon Adventure, and how if the Norwegian Dawn were to capsize, her cabin would put her on the bottom. She also mentioned the Titanic. She performed her favorite lines from Titanic: “Jack?” “Rose!” Jack!” “Rose?” The seas were angry again that night. I’m not sure how the performers kept their balance while playing and singing. “These Four Walls” was her best performance that night. She closed by saying, “have fun on your boat.” Not sure exactly how she meant that, but the idea I got was, “Y’all are crazy for paying to be on this boat.”

After the show we met Lee and Rebecca at the premium French restaurant. The ladies brought a bottle of wine (you’re allowed to bring 2 bottles on board). It was a delicious French burgundy and we made quick work of it. Then we had a Syrah. Quite delicious. Then Lee ordered another bottle of the Syrah. Delicious. This after a day of drinking beer around the pool. It was shaping up to be quite a session. Brandi Carlile was in the Star Bar rehearsing her piano skills, but we were not allowed, seeing as we’re not stars.

As we were walking to Gatsby's, we looked outside the window and the sea looked so rough, probably the roughest we’d seen. Huge waves smashed the front of the ship, leaving a churning white foamy surface that streamed by the window. A woman walked by and said, "I told you it was crazy out there." Then she looked at us again and said, "Well, maybe it wasn’t you, but I told someone that."

At Gatsby's, where we drank yet more beer. It was open mic at Gatsby's. Matt Bianco did a few numbers, as did Joel Guzman and his wife (whom we realized was the woman who said the funny line about the ocean in the hall to us.)

We talked and talked with Lee and Rebecca. These are fantastic, smart, and funny women. We vowed to come visit them in New Orleans. They said, "We have a big place, so bring all the kids." I said we would, and then Polly and I would get a hotel room in the French Quarter. She said never mind, then.

At 2:00 AM, we made fun of the poor perspective technique used in painting the murals, mimicked in the pictures you see here. Polly lasted late on this night, and we all guessed we'd seen as much cool stuff as we could handle. Polly headed off to bed. As soon as she left, Lee, Rebecca and I had one more beer and then it was time for bed. As we walked down the hall, we saw in one of the lobbies Brandi Carlile was doing an impromptu concert on the piano. After she finished a song, she solicited requests. Someone yelled for an Elton John song, to which Brandi responded, “That WAS Elton John.”

Then she sang Turpentine. Someone next to us sang along, which irritated Rebecca, who is quite a talented singer/songwriter in her own right. When the song was over, I requested Turpentine. We laughed. Vienna Teng and the twins helped Brandi out on Let It Be. This was one of my favorite parts of the cruise. Sadly, Polly missed this one too.

Pusser's Pub and the Order to Abandon Ship: March 4

We woke up in Tortola, part of the British Virgin Islands. The stats on the TV pegged the humidity at 100%. Nice.

We convinced a reluctant cab driver to take us to Sage Mountain National Park. In the shared cab some people from Augusta, GA talked about the potential bankruptcy of Blockbuster. Polly asked if we could talk about puppies and kittens since we were on vacation and had steadfastly refused to watch any news on the sketchy TV coverage in our stateroom.

We met some lovely women from San Diego. We agreed to share a cab back to town. The woman in the kiosk at the entrance to the park said, “I have some things to say. It will be $3 per person.” Apparently that’s all she had to say, because she didn’t say anything else until we all paid. Then in front of everyone she said to Polly, “Your husband's going to have to zip up.” After an embarrassing moment, she added, "his backpack." One of the pockets on my backpack was undone. Whew.

Before we started out I went into the small snack bar where a woman was in there watching Maury Povitch. I came out and told everyone I was just going to stay there and watch instead of going on the hike. Got a few chuckles. We made it to the old fig tree and caught up with the ladies from San Diego. Polly was experiencing a blood sugar low, and the ladies offered her an apple. It was a nice gesture.

We hit the highest peak in the British Virgin Isles and then it was down to Road Town for lunch. We convinced a skeptical cab driver that we wanted to go to Roti Palace and he reluctantly pointed us the way. Apparently roti is a West Indies/Carribean/Indian thing where flatbread is wrapped around curried potatoes and the protein of your choice. We chose conch. We were the only ones there. It was delicious, and better than the chicken fingers served in the unappetizingly named Pusser’s Pub.

That night’s ticketed even back on the ship was Brandi Carlile. Brandi has such a great voice, and she’s so damn cute it’s hard not to love her.At one point she sat down to do a piano song (she normally plays the guitar). She had a little trouble getting settled and she admitted, “these jeans are TIGHT.” And she does not shy away from the covers. She played the Beatles We Met, Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash, and Let It Be, joined by Alex Wong and Vienna Teng. The Twins, Brandi’s bassist and guitarist, did some amazing turns on vocals during that song as well.

One myth people relate about cruises is that everything is included. Not so. You have to pay for cokes. $50 for a week’s worth of unlimited sodas. I know, they're in the business to make money, but soda fountain drinks are practically free. You also have to pay for juice, some gratuities, and to gain entrance to the better restaurants on the ship. That’s what we did on this night. We went to Le Bistro. That’s French for The Bistro. The food was good, definitely better than the ‘free’ fare. Apparently they have been holding out on us. They had some dish called a “French-inspired Cheese Trolley,” which I envisioned as a miniature street car you climb on and they roll you around the restaurant as you sample the cheeses. Every lap or so they ring a bell right by your ear until you’re so embarrassed you ask to disembark.

Besides better food, one of the advertised draws of the pay-extra restaurant is better service. We had a lovely server named Via. She told us she’d been cruising since 2003. Polly said, “So you have your sea legs?”

“Yes,” she responded. “I’ve seen the worst.” She then related the story of how, after just three months at sea on the Norweigian Majestic, the captain missed the warning signs of a typhoon and a bad storm hit the ship. On the 5th floor, the windows of the bar broke out and water was coming in. They had issued an abandon ship warning. She sat in the crew area with her life preserver on. Through the walls in the next room she could hear everyone, adults and children praying and crying. She knew the stors was so bad that just getting into the boats would be a nightmare. Just as they were to begin getting in the boats their prayers were answered. Just as the storm blew up, it blew out. She said it was immediate; startling everyone. Needless to say, she’s a lifelong believer in the guy upstairs now.

A fascinating story, but possibly one I’d rather have heard after we got back to Miami.

I saw a little bit of Ed Robertson’s set. He’s the lead guitarist for Bare Naked Ladies. They do their own cruise with the Sixth Man, the company that put on Cayamo. He said he was telling Andy from Sixthman how much he would have loved to be on that boat with John Hiatt, Shawn Colvin, Patty Griffin, Brandi Carlile, and Kathleen Edwards. So Andy’s response was, “So why don’t you come?”

It worked out well, because Buddy Miller had some serious health trouble and could not attend the cruise. Ed’s set was fun. He is really funny and puts out some hilarious, quirky stuff. He told stories about his son and daughter. He played a couple of hits from Bare Naked Ladies, as well as some stuff from their kids album, and the theme from Big Bang Theory.

We got to sit on the third row for a second ticketed concert of the night, John Hiatt. This show was a return to John’s true form. He only had three repeated songs from the concert we saw the other night. Highlights of the show were The Tiki Bar is Open and Lift up Every Stone.

I went to see Oakhurst at 12:30 AM, but was worn out from the past two nights and only stayed for a few songs. They sure were rocking it, though. The waves had gotten a lot higher and the wind had picked up a lot. Polly opened the door to our room to place the room service door hanger on it and the wind blew cans and papers off of the table. It was crazy. The stats channel described the sea as “Rough” which means 15-20 feet. Holy moly.

Starting a band?

If you're starting a band, one of the hardest things to do is learn to play an instrument really well. Second to that is deciding on a name for your group. Never fear. Here's a handy list for you to choose from. Just make sure you mention me in your liner notes if you hit it big.

101 Damnations
Proper Trousers
Ground Clutter
Tulip Craze
SlobberFly
Pie Trajectory
Tongueprint
Voltaire and Swift
2 Hefty Astroids
Red Itchy Little Mofos
Dog-In-Law
Seamus O'Toole and the Other Jews
PolySorbate 50
FreakDust
Sheep Wagon
2 Brutal Toilets
The Magic Of Cakes
Discolored Tooth
Guar Gum and the Phenylketonurics
WordStar
Joe's Brood
The Cramped Minstrels
Mr. Eddy's Father
Lincoln Towncar and the Curb Feelers
Bulk Male
Pot Luck
Red Sparklerz
The Ne'er-do-wells
The Man to Beat
My Porcelain Jackets
T.B.A.

Great new product from FTD

A friend of mine gave me this great idea for a product. Order yours today.

Submarines and Mahi-Mahi Sandwiches: March 3, 2009

When we woke up we looked out the door of our cabin to see we had reached St. Thomas, one of the U.S. Virgin Islands. I hadn't been here in 38 years. The place had changed. We took a taxi to Morningstar Beach. it was a perfect day and we watched some kids frolic in the water. After an hour or so, we got aboard another taxi that took us to the main touristy area, where we secured tickets to a submarine trip through the corral reef at Turtle Bay. We then took a quick walk (one guy told us 15 minutes, another 45 we speedwalked it in 25). The main town of Charlotte Amelie is a charming little town with old buildings painted in pastel colors, like the Quarter in New Orleans. It’s filled with jewelry stores and perfume places. The winding narrow streets and delightful narrow arcades make it an interesting walk. There were 5 cruise ships in port, so it was a little crowded for our taste. We ended up at Gladys' Restaurant where we ate grilled Mahi Mahi sandwiches. Best meal of the trip so far.

We took a small boat out for a 20-minute ride on the choppy water to the point where you rendezvous with the submarine. We sat there for a while out on the front of the boat and a light blue area of the water formed and a submarine popped up out of the water. The people got out and we got on, The sub held 30 and we were 14, so there was plenty of room. They told us we could move from side to side, but not front to rear, so that we didn’t upset the sub’s balance and buoyancy mechanisms.

We saw tons of snapper fish, a 6' reef shark, a stingray, a blowfish, lots of coral and the part sof a ship that sank out there ten years earlier. Pretty cool. The tour guide described why everything looked a little washed out. He told us that because saltwater is denser than air, it filters out different colors as you go deeper, eventually filtering out all color where the water is dark. We went just under 80 feet deep on this excursion and the water had filtered out the red color of my KC Chiefs hat. Yes, I wore a Chiefs hat. I was worried I would blend in with the locals and people would not recognize me as a tourist, so I dressed the part. So they turned on the inside lights of the sub and my hat went from purple to red. Kind of a cool trick. Try it the next time you're hosting a party in a tourist submarine.

The excursion was unlike anything I have ever done before.

We rushed back to the boat for a bite before the John Hiatt show. John had a four-piece band, the Ageless Beauties, a funny name because all three of the other members were 20-years John’s junior. We learned later that John had a little flu and that explained why his show was a tad lackluster. He forgot a few words and missed a cue or two. He was still outstanding, though, the highlights being Feels Like Rain, Memphis in the Meantime, and a keyboard-free Have a Little Faith in Me. After dinner we rushed to catch the last half of Joe Ely’s set that he played with Joel Guzman on accordion. He played El Gallo del Cielo, a terribly sad song that makes you care about cockfighting. We headed to the atrium to see Katie Herzig, whose music was a little different from the rest of the artists, but fit in wonderfully. Her songs gave me goose bumps. At some point we also saw Aslyn, who played some great music. After hearing her sing and play piano, I thought she must like Ben Folds because some of her songs had his percussive piano and turns of rhythmic phrases. She played a great song called Wally. I really wished I could have seen more of her set.

I decided to check out Mindy Smith again, even though her previous performance had some cringe-inducing moments. I’m glad I did. She was fantastic. Highlights here were Come to Jesus, One Moment More, and Raggedy Ann. I got to meet her and get a snapshot.

By 12:30 I was wiped, but I had to go see Glenn Phillips, the former lead singer for Toad the Wet Sprocket. As I walked up the stairs to the Spinnaker Lounge, I saw another couple just barely able to make the trek. I told them, “You have to do it. This is why we’re here. Come on, we can do this.” They laughed. I lasted for an hour or so of Glenn’s great set with his violin player. Glenn is an old pro at the interstitial banter. He revealed that he had never been on vacation with his wife and not the kids in 13 years. He said being on stage was not for our benefit. Actually, he was trying to get laid. He said his performance was not for all of us, but for one of us. Quite funny. i saw him the next day with his wife, but did not have the guts to ask them if his plan worked.
Asleep by 1:45 AM.

Cacao, Sophie's Choice, and Ze Vails: March 2, 2009

Woke up early, had another room service breakfast. I went out to get our Internet access up and running. While returning, a woman stopped me in the hallway. She said, "Have you seen ze vails?" I said, "What?" and she repeated, "Have you seen ze vails!? Svimming alongside ze ship zere are vails!"

Apparently a couple of humpbacks were swimming alongside the ship. Sadly, I never got to see ze vails. I never saw that woman again, nor did I ever hear a German accent again on the whole trip. Perhaps I had seen Ze Vision of the Disembodied Fraulein of Ze Norvegian Dawn!

We dropped anchor in Samana Bay that morning and got off the ship earlier than expected. As you get off of the ship, people surround you with little books of pictures that show the different tours available or diagrams showing the kinds of whales you might see on a whale-watching excursion. We had to be back on the boat in time to see Lyle Lovett, so we were not able to go whale watching. Finally a nice fellow named Samuel took us back ot his little office and showed us pictures of a waterfall, a beach, and a bay view. Forty-five bucks for the day. A guy named Taylor from Alabama joined us. Samuel drove us to a place by the side of the road where several cars and motorcycle taxis had parked. Then Taylor and I bought Presidente beers and we began the slippery walk to see a waterfall.

As we walked, Domingo, one of the owners of the land we crossed pointed out the various flora and fauna around us. We saw mango trees, banana trees, cacao trees, coffee bean trees, pea trees, pineapple trees, and coconut trees. The waterfall was beautiful. Domingo told us 7 or 8 people who’d received the land from their parents owned the land that the waterfall was on.

At this point we split from Taylor, whom I'm pretty sure left with Samuel to buy pot. We then went to a touristy place for lunch. Polly had red snapper in a coconut red sauce. I had shrimp Dominican style, which involved a red sauce. We also tried a little ceviche. Sitting at the table next to us was Tift Merritt, a great singer-songwriter on the cruise, and her partner Zeke. They were as nice as could be. I complained that they had never played Kansas City. They mentioned they had just played Aspen in a crazy snowstorm, and that it made it sweeter to be there, having beers looking out over the beautiful sunny bay in Samana.

We walked down to the beach and lay down on a few chairs. After half an hour some fellow came up and told us we owed him $5 to sit on the chairs. I paid, Polly refused. We gave ourselves a 50% discount.

Walking back to where we were supposed to meet Angel, Samuel's friend and driver, we passed Kathleen Edwards and her husband (sitting on a beach towel, which I assume is free). We ran into our friends from New Orleans, Rebecca and Lee. We determined we were accidentally stalking each other. We really hit it off with these girls and we laughed a lot. They have the same sense of humor as we do. Polly and I bought some rum and vodka to smuggle back onto the boat. Angel helped us pour it into a water bottle and then he placed the Absolut bottle behind a tree. That's when we noticed the piles of trash everywhere. They have no problem tossing litter out the window, or even using the land in front of their house as a dump. Bags of trash piled up on every corner. Samana is a dirty city. Angel took us on a short tour where we got to see a wonderful view of the city from the parking lot of a Chinese restaurant.

A little jaunt in a shuttle boat and we were back aboard the Norwegian Dawn. We grabbed a quick burger and headed to see Lyle Lovett. During Lyle’s show the ship pulled up its anchors, which made for a loud environment for the show. Glenn Phillips’ fiddle player, Luke Bulla (he and Lyle's mandolin player who used to play for Ricky Skaggs) sat in on a few songs and played some cool solos. Lyle's set was great, with a few obscure tunes thrown in. John Hiatt came out to join him on "My Baby Don't Tolerate," which featured a great section where Hiatt and Lyle's guitarist played dueling solos.

They closed it out with "If I Had a Boat," the perfect end to a great concert on a ship.

As I walked up the stairs I saw Taylor, the guy who had been with us for a while in Samana. He looked quite serene. “How are you doing, Taylor?” I asked. “I’m doing awesome!” He definitely went to get pot.

We then went to see Shawn Mullins. The Accidental Stalking continued when we ran into Lee and Rebecca and watched some of the set with them. He played "Beautiful Wreck." It was a great song. As his set progressed, we started getting a little depressed. The subject matter of his songs was really sad, three in a row, so we all left. We wondered if we could watch “Sophie’s Choice” or talk about 9/11 to cheer up.

We had a few beers at the Pearly Gates, and then Polly headed off to bed. Rebeca, Leigh, and I went to see Oakhurst, a fantastic guitar, bass, banjo, and drum combo. We danced and laughed. I performed a perfectly choreographed dance to an Uncle Tupelo cover of Acuff-Rose. These guys are a great dancing band. Go see them if you ever get the chance. I went to bed at 2:45 AM!!

Mini Corn Dogs and the Outfield: March 1, 2009

After a room service breakfast and a light workout (note to self: don't try to do step-ups with 35 pound dumbells in each hand during moderate waves), we went poolside to hear Brandi Carlile and the Indigo Girls. It was a great show. They have written a few songs together, and Brandi's voice fit in perfectly with the Indigo Girls' harmonies. It was so windy that a slice of cheese blew off of my chicken sandwich. That's windy, people.

We then saw Web Wilder, with a few members of the Flaming Groovies: fun party music with rocking guitars. We walked around, got a little sun, and vowed to go hang out in the Fore hot tub before the trip was done.

After some room service pizza and a shower, it was time for our first ticketed show, the Indigo Girls.

The show was really fun, with Brandi joining them for three or four songs. Mindy Smith came out to sing Come to Jesus (one of my favorite songs). She was quite nervous, but sang beautifully, accompanying herself on the guitar. A somewhat frantic woman named Danielle Howle sang a song with the Indigo girls also. She has written lots of songs for the performers on this ship. She has a really nice voice.


By the pool we listened to Zac Brown Band. Zac has an amazing voice, a great band, thoughtful lyrics, and a big fat bushy beard. His father was on the cruise with him, which was nice. We got to see half of Kathleen Edwards’ set again, because we knew we would not be able to see her last performance due to another ticketed show at the same time. She played some of the same songs. She also told a great story about how someone had told her that he saw her husband, Colin Cripps, sitting in the kids area of the ship’s buffet restaurant. He said, “The tables were a little small, but I thought that’s where people sit.” It was hilarious. He didn’t notice the tiny corndogs or the grilled cheese in the really short buffet there. She forgot a verse to one song and her husband pointed that out to her. Perhaps he wanted to get back at her for telling the story of the kids buffet. She closed the set with “Your Love” by the Outfield. Unbelievably funny. Her husband was playing the solo and she said, “Do your own. That cheesy eighties crap is the worst.” A really fun performer. Make sure you don’t miss her if she ever comes to your town.

It was off to the Atrium to catch more Vienna Teng. She really is unbelievable.Here she is doing The Last Snowfall from her upcoming album. Hopefully her voice transcends the crappy audio and video. She is looping her breath as the percussion track, and then builds her vocal harmonies with each pass. It's really slick.





On the last song of her set the keyboard started making terrible noises. People refused to leave and so she moved down to the lobby to play on the piano there, but it was locked. Who locks a piano? Like some drunken cruiser is going to get on there and start playing it? Maybe so on this trip, but it would be GOOD because chances are, the person could really play. At any rate, she just had Alex play acoustic guitar and everyone sang along. I really got the impression that she had as much fun as we did. It was a great moment. She even exclaimed at one moment, “This is so awesome!”

In the bathroom I met a guy from Chicago who told a story similar to mine: he’d heard Vienna Teng’s voice and it stopped him in his tracks. At this point I’ve had so many cool moments I am starting to worry I will forget them, or they will lose their intensity. Not all of these moments happened in the bathroom. I was really referring to the performances.

Polly headed down to the room and I went to see Mindy Smith. Her set was a mess. She was under the impression that she needed to fill the time between songs with lots of banter. She tried, but she was so nervous, it came off like a train wreck. The Indigo Girls were there heckling her to “Just play!” She forgot the lyrics to three songs and stopped in the middle. Some people left from the front sections. She said, "Are you leaving? Are you mad at me?" It was endearing, but still a little hard to watch. Went to bed around 12:30.

Of Bubbly, Hand Sanitizer, and the Pearly Gates: February 28, 2009

We walked out of our hotel to look for a taxi and immediately got whisked into a shuttle and taken to the Port of Miami. There we checked in and signed a paper that said we had not had diarrhea or thrown up in the past 24 hours. They took my word for it. They handed us our tickets for the ticketed shows, our cruise cards (for swiping when you want to buy something). Then, we were aboard the Norwegian Dawn.

When we got on board they gave us a hand sanitizer spray and a glass of champagne. Nothing like free sanitizer and bubbly to make you feel like you're really on vacation.

We got the lay of the land and walked around the ship. The extra-special restaurants (the ones that charge on top of your cruise ticket) had samplers out. I tried some Nigiri sake salmon. It was pretty good, but not worth an extra ten spot. We grabbed a bite at the buffet, where the spinach leaves were hard to reach, and even harder to grasp with the awkward tongs provided.

At 2:30 we got to check into our stateroom. We have some room, since it's just the two of us. John, the ship's cruise director is from Australia. We have been on the boat just two hours and he's already said "crackerjack" four times over the P.A.

At 3:30 it was time for a mandatory lifeboat drill. We carried our lifejackets to the Stardust theater and heard a talk about how to wear our lifejackets, and how there is more capacity on the lifeboats than passengers on board. Good to hear. John Hiatt was right next to me as we put on our lifejackets. I told him I was looking forward to his shows this week. He shook my hand and asked where I was from. He was awfully nice.

As Miami faded into the hazy horizon we headed out to sea. We got to hear Roddie Romero and the Hub City All-Stars, a zydeco band from Lafayette, LA. They played some originals and some zydeco standards, like Buckwheat Zydeco and Professor Longhair. Roddie referred to Eric Adcock, the band's piano player as "Professor Lawn Chair,” a first-time moniker, we learned later at a bar where we met them. Prof. Lawn Chair played a few songs on the piano in the bar. It was a blast.


All over the ship there are stations where you can get hand sanitizer. They also have a staffer at each restaurant entrance with a spray bottle, ready to spray your hands before you eat. It’s a preventative measure, so we don't all get sick. Well, the whole business upset the woman who sat down at the table next to us at dinner She went into full-scale freak out mode. "Have you ever been to a restaurant where they sprayed your hands with hand sanitizer? I am terrified. I'll go without eating. I am afraid of eating ANYTHING on this ship." Her dining companion was trying to calm her down, but ultimately didn't succeed. They left to go someplace else, probably to cower in their stateroom.

In the Spinnaker Lounge we saw Kathleen Edwards play an hour set, which is frankly way too short for my taste. She played a quiet set for the most part, accompanied by her husband. They both played guitar, acoustic and electric, depending on the arrangement. At one point Kathleen paused after trying out a few chords on her electric guitar and said, "I know you're on vacation, but I still have to tune." Then she tuned her guitar. It was a nice moment.

She also said, "I like Bushmills Ten Year if you happen to be going to the bar." After a few more songs no one had bought the poor woman a drink so she said, "Thanks for the whisky, by the way." We all laughed and by the time the next song was done she had three Bushmills, one of which Polly delivered to her husband. She thanked us after the show when we chatted her up.

We saw Marc Broussard play in the evening. He played acoustic, as did his father, who accompanied him. We love his show. He writes country-tinged tunes about family and stuff. It was a nice intimate set. We befriended two funny women from New Orleans, Lee and Rebecca.

As we walked across the atrium on our way to the Pearly Gates (our name for the Pearly Kings, a pub on board) we stopped to hear the band playing in the atrium. My jaw was completely agape as I listened to this woman's voice. Her name was Vienna Teng, and she was remarkable. She had an unbelievably perfect voice. She sounded like a cross between Allison Krauss and Sarah McLachlin. Her accompanist, Alex Wong, played the drums, piano, and the bells. The latter he played while playing the drums at the same time. During one song, "The Last Snowfall," I had tears in my eyes it was so beautiful. It was an incredible performance. I hope to catch her again at one of her other shows.

We could not stay up for Shawn Mullins. We'll catch him on another show, hopefully.

People like to perpetuate the myth that you can’t feel the waves on a big cruise ship. I am here to say you can feel the motion of the ocean. In the middle of the night we woke up to a very creaky room. The wind and the waves had gotten higher in the night. There's a channel on the TV where you can track the location of the ship, the temperature of the pools, and the size of the waves. They were moderate, around 4-7 feet high. Drifting off to sleep, we wondered how big that rogue wave was that capsized the S.S. Poseidon.

Cayamo 2009

Hey guys,

As you may or may not know, I am on a cruise. It's our last day of the best trip I've ever been on. Sorry Mom and Dad, I loved Mt. Rushmore and Deadwood in 1976, but this was amazing.

i will post some backdated travel notes as soon as I get home. Internet access on the boat is like dial-up, c. 1996.

Peace out, y'all.

The Night Before: February 27, 2009

We are in Miami, the night before we embark on Cayamo 2009. Cayamo is a cruise which will take us from the Port of Miami to Samana, St. Thomas, Tortola, and Great Stirrup Cay, an island owned by Norwegian Cruise Lines. We'll be aboard the Norwegian Dawn (one of my favorite Beatles songs). Heh.

I found out about the cruise through Pollstar, which operates a service to notify you when your favorite artists update their tour information. I got a message and five or six bands on my notify list said they were all going to be at Cayamo. I wondered what the hell that was. So I checked out the site and signed up within a few weeks.

Aboard the ship with us will be many singer songwriters like John Hiatt, Patty Griffin, Lyle Lovett, Shawn Colvin, Tift Merritt, and Kathleen Edwards. we've never been on a cruise. we don't know what to expect. Will the artists really be on board the ship or will they get off and on from the ports? Will we like the food? Will we break the bank with our drink budget?

Stay tuned. I will answer these questions and more right here.

Your Most Valuable Possession

From Ben Folds:

Your Most Valuable Possession :
(6:49 a.m, Friday, November 20th)
"Good morning, Mr. Ben.
It's about 6:30 —
Winston-Salem, North Carolina.


Um...just laying here in the bed,
half awake, half asleep,
thinking about you.

I was
wondering if you were looking after your
most valuable
possession:
your mind.

I was thinking about
John Glenn,
his space journey and all.

They said that
when you're in space you lose
muscle mass
and the body
mass
and I wondered if there was any
end to it.

Or whether,
if you didn't exercise in space,
how long it would be before you were just
a head, or a mind —
and have no body or arms.
You'd have them but you couldn't use them.

I was wondering if
if your body mass would drop to a certain level,
and then it would stop right there.
And keep whatever you needed to
use your mind
because it would still be working."


(30 seconds remaining)

"Anyway, I was just pondering that.
What do you think about...that?

I hope everything is going alright.
I may well wake up here in a little while
and forget what I was thinking about."

Music Choice FunFacts: James Blunt

If you have Time Warner Cable, chances are you've listened to their music channels, called Music Choice. One of the interesting things they do on Music Choice is provide trivia on the artists and songs as you listen to them. Here are the things they said about James Blunt whilst his song "1973" played on Adult Alternative (uncensored):

• James Blunt's album "Back to Bedlam" came out in 2004
• James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" reached #13 on Billbord's Hot 100 Chart in 2005
  
• The word blunt means to make less intense, dull, numb, or insensitive
• James Blunt is often seen in public enjoying cucumber sandwiches
• James Blunt has been known to sleep in excess of 17 hours per day
• "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt is hated by almost everyone
  
• Critics rank James Blunt alongside inexpensive FTD floral arrangements and Sweet'N Low
  
• James Blunt is described on his website as "tender" and "mealy-mouthed"
  
• Experts expect James Blunt to fade into obscurity sometime in late 2012

BlairLake in the News

From the May 20, 1999 issue of the Wall Street Journal.

Peanut Butter Items Recalled

Breaking news from Reuters:

The sole source of the U.S. salmonella outbreak involving contaminated peanut butter appears to be the Peanut Corp of America's Blakely, Georgia processing facility, federal officials said on Wednesday.

Here are items made with Peanut Corp's products (listed in order of popularity):

• Balk Brand Salted-in-the-Shell Peanuts
• Salma 'N' Ella's Peanut Butter Schnapps
• Emeril's Peanut Remoulade Sauce
• PowerUp Protein Giblets (Peanut Butter flavor)
• Omaha Steaks Nu Flavas Brand Fillets w/ Peanut Butter Cream Sauce
  
• Kirkland Brand Mini Nougat Hunks (2-gross pack)
• Obese Gourmet Ready-2-Eat Peanut Butter Waffles
  
• Guy Fieri's Nutrageous Ginger Blast (12 oz. size)
  
• Yoplait Nutty Molasses Hot Chocolate Smoothie Nibblers ToGo

If you have any of these items, the FDA suggests you should return them to the store.

George Bush's Note for Barack Obama

I just found this on Yahoo News:

Keeping a White House tradition, US President George W. Bush left a confidential note in the Oval Office for successor Barack Obama to wish him well as his historic presidency begins.

Here's a copy of the note: