FunFact: My fructosamine level is 1.6!

Area Man Refuses to Change the Name of Al Kayda Chrysler Plymouth
LENEXA, KS—Allen Kayda, owner of Al Kayda Chrysler Plymouth, has refused to change the name of his car dealership, despite its diphthongal similarity to Al Qaeda, the global terrorist organization. Kayda's decision comes despite lagging sales and the appearance of a mysterious white powder next to the doughnuts in the service waiting room. "Let the terrorists change their name," Kayda said at a rally of his top grossing salepeople. Many have drawn parallels between Kayda's decision and that of the Carlay Company's refusal to change the name of AYDS diet candy.

The Journal Archive now works, somewhat. Although you can look at the individual pages, the navigation within the site through the main yellow and black buttons does not work, nor do all of the images appear. At press time, I have not fixed these errors. Oh well, such is my lot in life.
Enjoy!

Anagrams for Osama Bin Laden:

• sad animal bone
• banal mad noise
• bald nose mania
• bland Asia omen
• nasal media nob

Top 5 Appetizers Ordered at the Jalalabad TGI Fridays:

1. Sand-Encrusted Goat Brie


2. Mozzarella Sticks (with infidel blood for dipping)


3. Jack Daniels Grill BBQ Scarab Wings


4. Kippered Donkey Bites


5. Locust Poppers

Don't you think that if you're going to go to the trouble of burning someone in effigy, it should at least look like the person you're burning? Is that too much to ask? Doesn't the word quality have any meaning to Islamic extremists? Have these demonstrators no pride in their work?

I'll tell you, that's precisely why their per capita annnual income hovers around $800!