So maybe this schtick isn't so original. But it is awfully bothersome.

So I have a beef with some of the things people say when you're waiting on hold for a person to pick up the phone.
Here are those said beefs in order of annoyance level:

1. "Please listen to the complete list of options, as our menu choices have changed. For consumer products, press one. For business products press two." For that I had to listen to the whole message? What could have possibly changed? Perhaps consumer products used to be two?


2. "Stay on the line. You may experience some silence." In our time, it really is rare to experience silence. However, what I heard was a bunch of bad smooth jazz and some lame expressions of how important my call was. (see item 4)


3. "Hey, I'd like to give you a few phone numbers to keep handy. The support line for Roadrunner service is..." That's the number I had called to get that message.


4. "Your call is very important to us." So important that you can't get to me in under 45 minutes? Wow. I feel so... special.

Last night I turned on some of the coverage of the terrorist attacks and my daughter, who is 21 months old, said, "Daddy, I'm scared."

I turned off the TV and we went outside to blow bubbles. I'm not sure which of us enjoyed it more.

I do not understand truck owners who feel the need to adorn their vehicles with decorations. Specifically, I do not get:

1. The silhouette of the naked lady that appears on one's grillwork or mudflaps. Is this some necessary sign to the world: "Attention, the driver of this truck is a heterosexual, unlike SOME truck drivers I could name."


2. The name. You've seen them, the cute names depicted in a deliberately ragged typeface on the back window or on the gate. Names like The Boss, Mighty Mo, BastardWagon. Okay, I made the last one up.


3. Calvin urinating on the Ford logo. I understand Calvin urinating on the Oldsmobile or Yugo logos, but why Ford?

Can anyone enlighten me? Why would you spend money on any of this stuff? Perhaps I'll never understand the decorative truck owner.
Maybe it's better that way.

What do you think of the new angle of the SteveCam!? Check it out and let me know!